Prometheus

Reviewed by Danny the Demented
Updated June 18 2012

You are going to hear people describing this film as “visually stunning!” and “breathtakingly beautiful!” and “Michael Fassbender may be the reason I turned gay!” and they’d be correct. However, beauty does not exclude this movie from being yet another victim of incoherent plot and writing. Alas, wasted opportunity.

“Prometheus” is a sci-fi directed by the much celebrated Sir Ridley Scott, the person who brought us "Alien", "Blade Runner", and introduced Russell Crowe to the world in "Gladiator". A prequel to the Alien franchise, “Prometheus” tells the story of an expedition gone wrong. Two young archaeologists named Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) discovered an “invitation” left on earth by what they believed to be the makers of mankind (The Pope just popped a blood vessel in Vatican City). Calling these makers “Engineers”, Shaw and Holloway convinced a billionaire named Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce) to fund them in the quest to travel to the planet the invitation indicated, hoping to find the origin of our kind. Accompanying the couple on this space trip are the cold and calculating Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), the captain of the spaceship Janek (Idris Elba), a bunch of other people you don’t need to know, and David (Michael Fassbender), an android serving as the butler to the crew. When they arrived at the destination, the group discovers that by traveling all this way, hoping to meet their maker, they may very well all end up meeting their maker. Oh have I not mentioned that I am super witty? The more you know.

The production value is extremely high, to be sure. The special effect is very impressive and the set design is nothing short of stunning. While set way into the future, the film feels oddly relatable, giving the audience the sense that if we ever make it that far (Take that, Mayans!), our spaceships may very well resemble the one shown in this movie. The futuristic aura is incredibly authentic and awe-inspiring, and I haven’t felt this visually pleased by a sci-fi since the underrated "The Fifth Element". So what went wrong? Just like many before him, Sir Scott forgets that what drives a movie to greatness is not the visual, not the design, not even the actors. Great movies, truly great ones, all had amazing scripts with stories that are creative but sound and coherent. With Prometheus, a supposed prequel to the Alien franchise, it created more holes than answered questions. Why did David the android midway through went a bit "The Shining"'s Jack Nicholson on us? Who was the humanoid alien at the beginning? What is with all the sticky liquid black stuff? Why is there breathable oxygen in the hole but not outside it on the alien planet ? How did Lindsay Lohan screw up her career so badly? She had the world at the palm of her hand! Ok the last question isn't relevant to the film but you catch my drift. You can't just sidestep details you can't explain and claim that they are open to the viewers' imagination. NO! Not if you want to make a great movie. To give sound explanations that support your plot and wow your audience is much much harder than just throwing out a storyline that makes little sense and say "viewers can make up their own minds". Alas, Prometheus, albeit a fantastic looking film, lacks the substance to fill the void inside. A great looking car without an engine to match its beauty, is there greater tragedy in the film industry?

The acting, however,  is exceptional. Charlize Theron is once again unequivocally beautiful and intimidating as Meredith, the b**ch representing the corporate that is funding the expedition, though her importance to the film is at around 2%, which is to say the character was of no real importance. Noomi Rapace of the "Millennium" trilogy fame is fantastic as the lead Shaw, but the character's rich back-story was largely left untold. Idris Elba is perfect for the charismatic ship captain but his screen time was somewhere between 10-15 mins, maybe 20 tops. The true standout of course is Michael Fassbender. As David the hauntingly calm and intriguing android, Fassbender delivers yet another extraordinary performance. If they made a spin-off movie of David, I'd watch that. Yes, Fassbender is THAT hot, but even Fassbender the IT boy of the moment can't save this movie from mediocrity. 

A visual feast but a plot cop-out,  Prometheus is a disappointment. But if you are a fan of the Alien franchise, you have to see it. And for all the crap I've said about it, Prometheus is still an awe-inspiring splendor to look at.  Sir Scott, you've cooked the stew, but you forgot to throw in the meat, and now I am hungry. My name is Danny and I endorse this message.