Reviewed by Danny the Demented
Updated May 14 2012
A cabin, woods, creepy old gas station attendant, clueless youngsters, sounds like yet another run-of-the-mill slasher movie right? Not quite. This one has a twist, and a sizable one. Oh don’t you tell me size doesn't matter because it DOES. I've been told many times…..too much info?
“The Cabin in the Woods” is a horror film that does not follow the traditional “ooooh look at this abandon house in the forest with no living creature around, seems like the perfect vacation place! We are so young and stupid!” type of storytelling (Have I mentioned I hate young people?). Producer Joss Whedon teamed up with director Drew Goddard (they’ve worked on Buffy & Angel together and Goddard wrote several episodes for Lost, so you know you are in good hands, I am like a walking Wikipedia, for useless knowledge, but I digress) and created a film that contains several stereotypes from many different horror genres, be it dumb characters or idiotic story developments. However, instead of having these stereotypes to get cheap laughs, Whedon and Goddard managed to put these turds into their creative mixer and out comes a film that is fresh, humorous, scary, well-paced, and a delight to watch.
Reviewed by Danny the Demented
Updated May 1 2012
After the promise of a superhero all-you-can-watch was made back in 2008 when the first "Iron Man" movie came out, fans all over the world have been waiting for this ensemble of awesomeness to arrive. Well wait no more, the Avengers are here and I need to go change my pants because I made a peepee, yeah that's right, I am still THAT excited after seeing this 2hr plus fun-time freight train.
"The Avengers" is the story of awesomeness. Oh you need me to elaborate? Fine, you kids are so needy. The movie opens with Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who is back with a vengeance with the aide of an alien race called Chitauri- aiming to take over earth and in exchange for their help- bring Chitauri the source of unlimited power, the Tesseract. To take back the Tesseract and defend earth- our home- Director Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) brings in Captain America (Chris Evans aka the Human Torch), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), The Hulk (Mark Rufallo), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) to fight for our survival. You might be asking yourself: what is a Tesseract? who are the Chitauri? why does Danny know all these and does that make him a geek? Well WHO CARES? This movie is filled with awesome sauce and that is all you need to know.
Reviewed by Danny the Demented
Updated April 17 2012
Glamour, splendor, and undeniable beauty, these are constants in any and all Tarsem Singh movies. What sets this retelling of an age-old tale apart from the rest is that, my goodness, it actually has a coherent storyline. Only took you 4 movies to learn that script matters, Mr. Singh, you take the term "baby steps" to a whole, other, level. But better late than never, am I right or am I right? Yeah you know it.
"Mirror Mirror" is a fantasy/comedy adaptation of the famous tale of Snow White. The wicked queen Clementianna (Julia Roberts) has taken over as the ruler of the kingdom after the mysterious death of the King. Snow White, the rightful heir, is kept prisoner (albeit a very well-dressed one) inside the castle and is prohibited from having any contact with the outside world. And (brace yourself, run-on coming!) then of course a prince (Armie Hammer) shows up and they meet and fall head over heel over each other because it's love at first sight and that is totally possible in fairy tales but oh no the queen wants a piece of the prince as well because he is rich and handsome and naked (on many occasions, you're welcome ladies) and henceforth the queen needs to dispatch Snow White permanently meaning killing her but that plan fails inevitably because if she dies then there's no movie duh and she runs into the seven dwarfs and with their help Snow White battles the queen to save her love, her kingdom, and herself. Oh yeah I am good. I am like Ricky Bobbie, I wake up and piss excellence.
Written by Ruey of The Ruey Review
Updated 27 March 2012
“Punting is not as easy as it looks. As in rowing, you soon learn how to get along and handle the craft, but it takes long practice before you can do this with dignity and without getting the water all up your sleeve.”
Punting is darn difficult. There, you’ve been warned. If you think you can just take a lady friend to the River Cam without any prior punting experience and impress them with a romantic time on the water, you’re in for an embarrassing Fail moment. First, it is very difficult to punt straight, and it is not easy to fix the direction of your punt as it requires a lot of strength. The punt pole has much more width and weight than you’d expect which makes it hard to move in or pull out of the water. This means you are very likely to get yourself trapped in circling in the same spot and get your sleeves wet during that time. Lastly, but very importantly, while you struggle to move the punt the way you want it to move, you need to at the same time avoid collision with other punts.
Reviewed by Danny the Demented
Updated 26 March 2012
An entertaining 2hrs at the theater. However, after the film ended, I "hungered" for more details..........which is not exactly a compliment. Oh and by the way, I need better puns. I know.
"The Hunger Games" is the film adaptation of the bestselling novel of the same name. It tells the story of Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), the protagonist and the heroine of the tale, who lives in a futuristic world where youths are required (2 from each district) to participate in the "Hunger Game", the annually held fight-to-the-death survival game where 24 will enter but only one will come out alive and be crowned as victor (don't you just love run-on sentences? because I do!). When Katniss Everdeen's younger sister Primrose got selected to be a participant, aka tribute, Katniss volunteered to save her sister. Along with her fellow tribute Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) from the same district, Katniss must find a way to beat the odds and survive, for both herself and her oppressed district. This is a story of friendship, survival, hope, and ultimately, love.
Written by Ruey of The Ruey Review
Updated 25 March 2012
Anthony Bourdain, a well-travelled chef who's eaten sh*t-covered BBQ African warthog rectum, described the Hákarl as "the single worst, most disgusting and terrible tasting thing" he has ever eaten. Gordon Ramsay on his show “The F Word” regurgitated just seconds after putting a piece of this icelandic rotten shark delicacy into his mouth. In Iceland, “eating hákarl is often associated with hardiness and strength” apparently.
Reviewed by Danny the Demented
Updated 19 March 2012
I guess the rumor is true: everything sounds better with a British accent. Oh good writing and fine acting also help, obviously. Yes I fight crime with my power to be obvious, fear me and don’t pee your pants now.
"My Week with Marilyn" is the biographical story of the world famous Marilyn Monroe (still one of the most celebrated actresses of not just our time, but anytime) and the time she spent making the film "The Prince and the Showgirl" in England. A renowned star, Marilyn (Michelle Williams) goes abroad to work with Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) on his invite. While there, she meets the protagonist, the eager-to-make-his-dream-of-being-in-the-movie-business-come-true Collin Clark (Eddie Redmayne). The two soon developed a friendly/romantic rapport and just as quickly, Collin found out that Marilyn is as vulnerable as she is famous. Despite her obvious allure on screen, she is incredibly self-conscious and the pressure of working in a foreign country with trained professionals is overbearing. As Marilyn’s emotional anchor, Collin learns about trust, love, and the relentless sorrow that is heartbreak from the eternal film icon. As Sybil Thorndike (Judi Dench) said in the film 『First love is such sweet despair』. Truer words have never been spoken.
A cabin, woods, creepy old gas station attendant, clueless youngsters, sounds like yet another run-of-the-mill slasher movie right? Not quite. This one has a twist, and a sizable one. Oh don’t you tell me size doesn't matter because it DOES. I've been told many times…..too much info?
